How To Save A Life
by X-Hayze-chan-X
Summary: Songfic. More than slight US/Canada. CH. 2: HAPPY ENDING ADDED!
1. How To Save A Life

**A/N: I watched this YouTube video with APH and this song and I remembered that I like this song. So then I looked up the lyrics and I remembered how in Civics class we learned that Canada's right wing was still totally left to us Americans, and this popped into my head. No drafts or anything; I never do drafts. Ever. Maybe that's why I'm such a fail writer. **

**Finally I was able to do something without a happy ending! I cried while writing this. T.T **

**Tonight I went to a Revive concert at my school and they were AWESOME! They signed my t-shirt and poster and I bought a CD too and they said they'd pray for me~! Even though I'm a Pastafarian and worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster, it was still a really nice thing to hear. :) I was gonna do a songfic for this one song they played but I don't remember the name, so if there are any people who know Revive songs, help me out and I'll do the pairing of your choosing and mention you and stuff. **

**I might do a second chapter that gives it a happy ending if you tell me to. Until then, this story is complete. You want happy? Good. I'm happy to write happy, 'specially if I know you want it. I may even do a lemon if ya want. Just TELL ME. One person will suffice. Srsly. **

**Till then, this is a really sad/angsty fic which I HAD to make slashy, just because I'm me and everything I write has to have something to do with slash. Like that Great Expectations thing, maybe Pip was alright with Estella's death because he was secretly going out with Damien or some shit like that. BTW, I have nothing against Canada or America or anything. They're both awesome. This just worked, okay? **

**Disclaimer: I don't own APH or its various nouns or How To Save A Life by The Fray. **

**Warnings: Slash-ish, (possibly one-sided) incest (or twincest, depending on if you think they're twins or not; I've seen it both ways), angst, sadness, NO HAPPY ENDING OMGZZ, maybe OOCness, swearing in the Author's Notes... Basically the stuff I always rate my stories T for. **

He remembered that day perfectly.

_America sifted through each individual step in his head. He had to talk to his brother. _

_**Step one: you say  
"We need to talk…"**_

_A knock on his door interrupted his thoughts. It was his little brother, Canada. _

"_H-hi, Alfred," he said. "You wanted to see me?" _

"_Matt," America said quietly, letting him in, "we need to talk." _

"_What about?" he asked, sounding concerned. _

_**He walks; you say:  
"Sit down, it's just a talk" **_

"_Sit down, Matty," he said. "It's just a talk." _

_Canada complied. _

_**He smiles politely back at you**__  
__**You stare politely right on through  
Some sort of window to your right  
As he goes left and you stay right**_

_Canada smiled politely at America, who was staring out the window to his right. He and his brother had been drifting so far apart; Canada was becoming more left-wing while America stayed safely on the right. _

_**Between the lines of fear and blame  
As you begin to wonder why you came**_

_He was stuck between fear and blame as he tried to tell his brother his thoughts. He was seriously wondering why he had even come. Well, besides the fact that this was his house and all. But he wondered why he forced himself to talk to Canada about this. _

'_**Where did I go wrong?'**__ he thought.  
__**'I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up  
With you all night  
Had I known how to save a life'**_

_His mouth was running without his mind as he tried to make Canada listen to reason. _

"_**Let him know that you know best  
Cause after all you do know best  
Try to slip past his defense  
Without granting innocence  
Lay down a list of what is wrong  
The things you've told him all along  
And I pray to God he hears you  
And I pray to God he hears you"**_

_That's what England had told him when he'd voiced his worries to the older Nation. He was deathly afraid for his younger brother. But England told him just what he'd had to do. And gave him his sincerest blessing. _

_**As he begins to raise his voice  
You lower yours and grant him one last choice**_

"_HOW DARE YOU!" Canada was yelling, raising his voice higher and higher. But America's voice somehow only lowered as he granted his brother one last choice. _

"_You have a choice, Matt," Alfred said. _

"_**Drive until you lose the road  
Or break with the ones you follow" **_

_Canada looked at him with a confused expression. _

_**You will do one of two things  
You'll admit to everything  
Or he'll just say he's just not the same  
And you'll begin to wonder why you came**_

_America admitted everything to his brother. He admitted everything he felt and everything he feared. _

"_I love you, Matthew," he said wearily. "I wouldn't be able to stand if anything happened to you. I _need_ you!" _

_And all Canada had to say was, "For so long I've wanted to hear that… But it's not the same. _I'm_ not the same." _

_America, with tears in his eyes, wondered for the second time why he had even come. _

After that, Canada had left. And he had never come back.

America cried. "I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life."


	2. Your Star

**A/N: YESSSSS. **

**Thanks to Mikatsuki-no-Arashi, a happy ending has been added. This is for Your Star by Evanescence, and the POV is more Canada-centric. But yeah, this is for you. :) **

**And to my anonymous reviewer: Here's the 'more' you'd 'LOVE to see'. I don't understand how you couldn't get it... Basically America is losing Canada and he tries to help, but Canada gets pissed off and leaves. It was implied character death, but the implications have been flushed down a proverbial toilet at this point. **

**Thank you two for your awesome reviews. **

**Also, I couldn't stand to leave Kumajirou out of the story, so I added his brief apppearance. :) After they started making out though, he kinda left. Either that or he took pictures for his real master, Hungary. Meh, I'll leave his whereabouts to the readers' imaginations. **

**Same disclaimer applies: I don't own APH, Evanescence, or this song. **

**Waring: I added a heavy incestual makeout scene. Be WARNED. **

* * *

_**I can't see your star.  
I can't see your star.  
Though I patiently waited, bedside, for the death of today  
I can't see your star.  
The mechanical lights of Lisbon frightened it away.**_

Canada hadn't seen America since he walked out of his brother's house. He hadn't even seen one star of the American flag. He waited and waited, hoping that his brother would come after him. If America had truly meant what he said, if he really loved him, he would have gone after Canada. He waited and waited, but America never showed. __

And I'm alone now  
Me and all I stood for.  
We're wandering now.  
All in parts and pieces, swim lonely, find your own way out.

He was truly alone. All he had left was his people, what he stood for. They were all wandering around aimlessly, wondering the same thing that Canada wondered. Canada was in pieces, completely lonely, forced to find his own way out. And he wondered why. Where was America? __

I can't see your star.  
I can't see your star.  
How can the darkness feel so wrong?

Canada had always loved the dark, but whenever he looked into the sky as of late it seemed as if every star had vanished. Like they were trying to remind him of the fact that his star was gone. America was gone from his life. Why? How could darkness suddenly feel wrong to him? __

So far away.  
It's growing colder without your love.  
Why can't you feel me calling your name?  
Can't break the silence,  
It's breaking me.

They were so close; neighbors, north and south. And yet, they were so far away from each other. Canada was always a cold place, but it seemed that without America there to warm his heart, to love him, he was growing somehow colder. They used to be able to feel the presence of the other in their heads, but it seemed America couldn't even feel the way his twin was desperately calling his name. But he said it silently, for the silence refused to be broken. It was slowly shattering him. __

All my fears turn to rage.

And just like that, instead of fearing his loss of the one he truly loved, he felt rage. __

Now, I have nothing worth fighting for.  
We're wandering now  
All in parts and pieces, swim lonely,  
find your own way out

Just as Canada felt that he had nothing left worth fighting for, just as he felt it was pointless to go on, he saw the familiar sight of a star outside his window.

"Matthew!" America gasped. "Where the _hell _have you been?"

"Where have _I_ been?!" Canada repeated incredulously. "Where have _you _been?"

"I was waiting for you to come back, because I knew that you were so mad at me, and if I went after you you'd only be angrier. But you never did. And the longer I went without you, the worse I felt. I can't live without you!"

"Oh, you say that now," said Canada. "But what about all that time you never even tried to call? There's a difference between waiting for me to blow off steam and fucking abandoning me!"

"Matt," America said, voice cracking, and Canada knew that he would lose this battle. "Please. I love you. I _need_ you."

"Prove it," he said quietly, holding his bear closely to his chest.

"You want me to prove it?" America asked. Canada nodded, and America said, "Alright."

And then they shared the most passionate kiss you could possibly imagine.

America pressed his lips to Canada's and Canada, after a few seconds' hesitation, kissed back. They wrapped their arms around each other to press as close as possible, because neither wanted to break apart ever again. Slowly, America ran his tongue over his brother's lips and Canada opened his mouth quickly and eagerly. He bit down on Canada's tongue gently, sucking it for a second, and caused Canada to moan quietly. Their tongues played together, and they were caught in their ferocious liplock until dizziness broke them apart. The two still stayed close together, breathing heavily on each other's faces.

"I would do anything for you," America said. "I would even burn down my own capital or give up hamburgers forever if you wanted me to. I love you, Matthew."

And from then on, they never wandered alone. Neither had to find his own way out, they never swam lonely. Because they were always together.

And darkness never felt more right.


End file.
